luni, 16 august 2010

This is the true story of Adam and Eve

God: Who hath grazed from the tree of knowledge?
Adam: Someone ate from the tree?
God: The tree of knowledge.
Adam: Yeah, wow. Uh... that's just... wow. I don't know what to say.
God: Do you know something about it?
Adam: Well, I did notice something the other day, but...
God: But what?
Adam: Never mind. I shouldn't have said anything; you probably wouldn't be interested anyway.
God: C'mon, tell me! You have to tell me, you can't do that!
Adam: Do what?
God: Say you know a secret and not tell me! Just give me a hint.
Adam: Well, okay. Now, I'm not saying Eve ate the apple, but let's just that the she has been talking to Satan a lot lately.
God: Get out!
Adam: Yep. They've been talking about lots of things. Temptation, bearing false witness, possibly fruit. Oops, here she comes.
Eve: Hey, guys.
Adam: Hey, Eve. So did you hear about the tree of knowledge?

Adam & Eve - muslim
Eve: No, what about it?
Adam: Someone ate from the tree.
Eve: What? That's terrible. Any idea who did it?
Adam: No idea, do you know anything?
Eve: This is the first time I've heard about it.
God: Don't make this difficult. I know you've been talking to Satan.
Eve: I don't know what you're talking about. Who told you that?
God: I have my sources.
Eve: I swear to -- you -- that i didn’t eat the apple!
Adam: Listen, God, I have a confession to make: I ate the apple.
God: That's very nice of you, Adam, but you don't have to defend her. You've been a great help already.
Eve: Adam, what did you tell him?
Adam: I don't want to get involved. This is between you two.
God: Just come clean and we can move on.
Eve: It wasn't me!
God: Then who?
Eve: I don't know! Jesus!
God: Oh c'mon now, he hasn't even been born yet, that's the best you can come up with?
Eve: No, not Jesus the proper noun, I meant like "Jesus!" the exclamation.
God: Now you're being facetious. I'm tired of playing these games. Since you won't fess up, I have no choice but to damn your gender.

Eve: But--
God: Damned.
Eve: Adam, tell him!
Adam: I'd like to help you out, Eve, honest, but my hands are tied on this.
God: You can start by making seventy-five cents for every dollar a man makes.

And that's how Eve fucked it up for the entire female gender, thanks in part to Adam's clever pioneering of the instrument of blame.

I saved the best for the end :


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